What A Beautiful Mess
by Shira
Summary: After Filia is nice to him, Xellos finds himself feeling giddy and lightheaded. When it starts getting him into trouble, he realized what a big, beautiful mess he's in. X/F


**"What   
a   
Beautiful Mess"   
by   
Diamond Rio **

Shira Does   
NOT   
Own This Song 

She Wishes She   
DID   
Own This Song 

But She   
DOESN'T 

Just Because   
she   
Changed   
the   
Words   
a   
Little Bit   
that   
DOESN'T MAKE   
it   
HERS!! 

*   
*~)*(~* 

Xellos woke up from his half-asleep state. He could never really sleep, but he had to rest to regain his energy. The other night, he had gone to see Filia again, but it had been different. Filia hadn't been as loud or violent. She'd been.... nice. Now, waking up, he felt.... strange. Almost giddy. He felt like he was floating around, walking on air. He sat up, and kicked his covers off, sitting on the edge of his bed. 

_Going out of my mind these days,   
Like I'm walking 'round in a haze. _

After shaking his head a bit, Xellos tried to orient himself. He felt very light. He'd never felt like that before. "What's with me?" he asked himself. He tried to think of what had happened differently yesterday than any other day before. "Fi-chan was nicer," he mused. "But why would that....?" 

_I can't think straight, I can't concentrate   
And I need a shave _

Shrugging, Xellos looked around his room. He found his boots, cape, and staff over in the corner. He stood up, and headed over there. As he did, he passed the mirror on his wall, and found himself wearing a rather foolish-looking grin. Even more foolish than usual, that is. Xellos shrugged again, and went over to his things. He sat on the stool, and tried to put his boot on. It wouldn't fit. Xellos tugged at it a little, before he looked down. He was putting his shoe on the wrong foot. After giving his boots a curious look, he got them on the right feet, and buckled his cape on. 

After that, Xellos decided to go get his coffee, so he went to the lounge. Maybe that would get rid of the light, floaty feeling he had. Once at the lounge, Xellos poured the black coffee into a mug, added the cream, a few spoons of sugar, and took a sip. Instantly, he gagged and started coughing and spitting out his coffee. He looked at the counter, and saw that he hadn't put sugar in his mug, he'd put salt. 

_This morning I put salt in my coffee,   
I put my shoes on the wrong feet. _

After fixing himself a fresh cup of coffee, without the salt, Xellos sat down to drink it in silence. However, the silence was broken by Zelas shouting in his head, "Xellos, Report!" Xellos nearly dropped his cup at the booming voice in his head, but he managed to hang onto it. Then, immediately, he teleported to Zelas's room. While in the astral plane on his trip there, he started daydreaming. He was thinking about going back to Filia's again, and see if she acted the same way. Suddenly, Xellos stopped himself. He was being dragged into subspace! Quickly, Xellos gathered in his thoughts, and completed the teleportation. How could he have let his thoughts wander while he was on the astral plane?? He could have been sucked into another dimension! 

_I'm losing my mind I swear.   
You might be the death of me,   
But I don't care. _

"Xellos!" Zelas shouted from her tall throne. "What took you so long?" 

Xellos instantly was down on one knee, his coffee cup still in one hand. "I...." he started. "I almost got lost on the astral plane, Ju-ou-sama." 

"Lost?" Zelas asked suspiciously. "You haven't let your thoughts wander for over eight hundred years! What had your thoughts so distracted?" 

Xellos hesitated. What would Zelas say if he told her he'd been thinking about visiting Filia? But then, if he lied to her, he'd be punished just as severely. Boy, he sure was in a mess. 

_What a beautiful mess,   
What a beautiful mess I'm in, _

"Where we you last night?" Zelas snapped before Xellos could answer her last question. 

"Did you need me for something, Ju-ou-sama?" Xellos asked respectfully. "I would have come if you'd--" 

Shaking her head, Zelas said, "I didn't need you, but I have a right to know where my servants are. So?" 

"I was...." Xellos hesitated again. At a piercing look from Zelas, he said, "I was at Fi-chan's house." 

_Spending all my time with you.   
There's nothing else I'd rather do. _

"Again?" Zelas demanded. "That's three times this week, Xellos! You can't be devoting your time to such petty matters like getting enjoyment out of teasing that dragon! You should be spending more time here, on Wolfpack Island." 

Xellos cringed. "But, Ju-ou-sama, couldn't I--" 

"You shouldn't go there anymore," Zelas said. "It's distracting and could be dangerous. Just like my addiction to smoking. It's dangerous for my health, and I shouldn't do it. So you shouldn't go to the dragon's house." 

"But you still smoke...." Xellos pointed out. 

"It's different," Zelas said shortly. 

_What a sweet addiction that I'm caught up in.   
'Cause I can't get enough _

"How is it different?" Xellos asked. 

"It just is," Zelas said. "Don't question your superiors." 

Bowing his head, Xellos said, "Hai, Ju-ou-sama." He took another sip of coffee, but it didn't help any. He still felt floaty. He'd heard about people feeling floaty when they thought they.... were.... 

Xellos started choking on his coffee at the thoughts he was thinking. Could it possibly be that.... he thought.... he thought he was in love with Filia? 

_Can't stop the hunger for your love.   
What a beautiful, what a beautiful mess I'm in _

"Xellos?" Zelas asked, an odd inflection in her voice that sounded a little like concern. "What were you just doing?" 

Xellos shook his head, and said, "Nothing." He started to think again. Could he possibly love Filia? But he thought that Mazoku didn't have feelings. Well, that wasn't right.... He was a Mazoku and he knew that he was feeling _something_. For all he knew, it could be love. He racked his memory for information he'd read about human emotions. When they were in love, they often felt giddy or floaty and walked around with creepy grins. Well, he'd done all of the above. 

"Xellos, you need to focus more on your work!" Zelas snapped. "I can always find a new Mazoku servant, you know! One that won't lose his focus!" 

_I go to work and I look tired.   
Boss man says, "Son, you're gonna get fired. _

Xellos was only halfway paying attention to what Zelas was saying. He was thinking back to Filia again. He was constantly going over to her house, not always to tease her. He started feeling floaty after she'd been kind to him. He also felt really bad with himself those couple times he'd made Filia cry. It was completely and entirely possible that he was in love with Filia. 

Except for the fact that he was a Mazoku and wasn't supposed to have feelings. 

"XELLOS!" Zelas shouted. 

Sharply, Xellos snapped back to attention. "Hai, Ju-ou-sama?" 

"This isn't like you, Xellos," Zelas said. "What is going on inside your corrupt mind to make you so distracted?" 

_This ain't your style."   
And behind my coffee cup,   
I just smile. _

Xellos knew he was thinking about Filia. Just his thoughts of thinking about Filia made him grin foolishly. He brought his coffee cup up to hide his grin from Zelas. After he forced himself to rid himself of his smile, he said, "I was thinking about...." He then paused. Again, he couldn't tell Zelas he was thinking about Filia, or she would certainly ban him from going there. Also, if he lied and she found out, he'd be dead. Literally. So what was he to tell her? 

_What a beautiful mess,   
What a beautiful mess I'm in _

"Well?" Zelas drawled. "I'm waiting for your answer." 

Xellos swallowed. "I.... was thinking about Fi-chan," he admitted. At Zelas's glare, he said, "About how, um.... negative her feelings are!" 

Zelas crossed her arms, and looked down at Xellos suspiciously. She arched one eyebrow, and waved a hand for Xellos to continue. 

"I was thinking about.... all the negative feedback I got at her shop last night?" Xellos said, more of a question than a statement, as if he was making sure Zelas agreed with that. 

_Spending all my time with you.   
There's nothing else I'd rather do. _

"I'm not buying it," Zelas said, crossing her legs. "If you don't tell me, Xellos, I'll have to probe your mind. I know you don't like that." 

Xellos shook his head. When Zelas probed his mind, she had access to every single thought he'd ever thought in his life about anything that had ever happened to him. If she probed his mind, she'd find out he'd been over to Filia's a lot more than he'd told her. And that he loved Filia. And then he'd be banned from seeing her. He couldn't do that. Now that he decided her was in love, he had to see her again. 

_What a sweet addiction that I'm caught up in.   
But I can't get enough _

"Xellos!" 

"Hai...." Xellos said slowly. "I was thinking.... about...." 

Zelas leaned forward intently, curious to find out what occupied her servant's mind. 

"What I was thinking...." 

_Can't stop the hunger for your love.   
What a beautiful, what a beautiful mess I'm in _

"Yes?" 

"My thoughts are...." 

"YES??" 

"A secret," Xellos concluded. He winked, waving his finger, and phased out before Zelas could ban him from leaving the island. He knew he'd suffer dearly for that little stunt of his, but he figured it was worth it. When he appeared again, of course he was right above Filia's shop. 

_Is it your eyes? Is it your smile?   
All I know is that you're driving me wild _

Xellos landed on the ground in front of Filia's door, and looked in the window. He saw her sitting on the floor playing with Val, who looked to be about four years old, when in reality his egg had only hatched months ago. As he watched Filia, he wondered what it was about her that made him attracted to her. Her bright blue eyes, so different from his own violet slits? Her smile, when she ever did really smile at him? Or maybe just the fact that he'd never seen another person like her? He didn't care. Whatever it was about her, he loved it. 

_What a beautiful mess,   
What a beautiful mess I'm in _

It was while Xellos was watching Filia through the window that she happened to look up and see him there. At first, her face took on an expression of anger, but when she saw the smile on his face, she couldn't help but smile too. Val looked up, and saw Xellos as well. He smiled widely, and waved his hand energetically. 

_Spending all my time with you.   
There's nothing else I'd rather do. _

Xellos straightened, and went over to the door. He was about to grab the handle when it opened from the other side. Filia stood there with Val in the crook of one arm, balanced on her hip. Then Filia said, still smiling, "What are you doing here?" 

_What a sweet addiction that I'm caught up in.   
But I can't get enough _

Teasing, Xellos asked, "What, Fi-chan? You don't want me here?" 

"Of course I do, I--" Filia started, but cut herself off when she realized Xellos was joking. After a moment, she asked, "Really, Xellos, why are you here?" 

_Can't stop the hunger for your love.   
What a beautiful, what a beautiful mess I'm in _

"Now that," Xellos told her with a wink and a smile. "Is a secret." 

For perhaps the only time that Xellos could recall, Filia didn't get mad at him when he said that. "Want a cup of tea?" Filia asked him. 

Xellos felt all bubbly again, and said, "Of course, Fi-chan. Have I ever said no to you?" 

Filia just grinned, and let Xellos inside, closing the door behind them. He'd tell Filia he loved her later, once they were inside. She'd need a pillow to faint on from the shock after he told her, most likely. 


End file.
